I don’t care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul”
— Radiohead, Creep
All I see when I look out onto the world is a vast expanse of destruction.”
sweet. terrible. things.
Sure, it’s obvious
after all the years of hatred and
side-splitting
abuse
The grin of which,
still has not left me.
i am happily dysfunctional
of course i could suggest that maybe
you
could have been a bit crueler to me
so that i could have not survived at all.
That would have been
the
humane thing to do.
i wouldn’t dare suggest that you not harm me
i’m too broken to suggest niceness
besides,
that would have ruined all the fun you had at my expense
all of those:
sweet, terrible, things.
next time,
really do tare into whomever it is
just really destroy their soul
search out all those hidden crevices in their heart
and destroy it all
it is truly the humane thing to do.
I didn’t want any flowers, I only wanted
To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.
How free it is, you have no idea how free ——
The peacefulness is so big it dazes you,
And it asks nothing, a name tag, a few trinkets.”
— Sylvia Plath, Tulips
(Source: americanpoems.com)
Sorry
I haven’t been doing poems
I’m going to do more poems
does this count as a poem?
Idaho
don’t you touch me no more.
i want your hands off of me
but i can feel them
I always feel them
love cannot touch me
with your scent upon me
i cant even love myself
I try to cut you away
but you’ve seeped into my very being
steeped yourself in my soul
i don’t dare look in the mirror no more
i see you staring back at me
I see your eyes upon my face
And your smile on my mouth
That Vague Smell of Trident
regretting the past
don’t let it keep happening
you can never look back
it’s never really the same
as soon as you look
the moment is over
and when it over
it never comes back again
time is your breath
the memory is your hand
you can only vaguely smell it
it never truly remains
let those tears well up
let your moment fade in
As soon as you blink
that moment is gone
remember
forget
remember
don’t forget
to remember
again
January
Shud-der-r-r-r-r-r
grey
and white
and
hints of blue
sandpaper
replaces
skin
daggers of air
slicing
thru
my
lips
wake up/
S H I V E R R R R R R - ing
Deep Sea
Deep
Dark
Sea.
Float
Live
Quiet
Peaceful
Scary luminescent creatures.
Smile.
Walking
my pants are too long for me
they make a shuffling sound when I walk
keeping me company in the cold and in the dark.
I hum a song
my pantlegs are the jazz drummer to my tune
swish, tish, tish, swish, tish, tish, swish
all the way home
